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Hello, Is There Any Body There?
- full
length farce - 4m 5f , single set (scripts 6.00 each, performances 40 each)
Note that translations into Dutch, Spanish and Frisian languages are available for this play.

All is dull and peaceful at Squire Grange. Lady Amelia searches for new ideas for her latest mystery novel as Sir Malcolm sleeps off the excesses of another idle day. Family friend Freddy is persuaded to try and think of new ideas. Meanwhile the hapless Vic Tim arrives and is promptly dispatched by an unknown assailant. Everyone tries hard to discover the murderer before he or she can strike again. The first problem, however, is how to get rid of Vic's body, not just because he is making an untidy mess on the stage, but also because he has to come back in ACT II as a policeman! Smalls, the butler, and Mabel, the maid, try to assist the inept police (and Sir Malcolm attempts to give the delicious WPC Nunnall a hand too) but not in time to prevent the Producer being murdered. There is even a suspicion that someone may have poisoned the audience. Eventually Miss Marbles arrives to reveal, Agatha Christie-style, the culprit, who also happens to be the play's prompt. Or is there another culprit? This hilarious farce steadfastly refuses to take itself (or anything else) seriously.



Spoken lines (approx.)

Lady Amelia a novelist


Sir Malcolm her husband


Freddy a family friend


Mabel maid & cook


Detective Inspector Dianne Sides


Vic/DC Fickey victim/policeman


Eve a glamorous WPC


Smalls the butler


Miss Marbles *Miss Marple"



Note that Prompt should not be billed as a cast role in any programmes

A few past productions

Appleby Frodingham TS - Scunthorpe

Avenue Theatre - Sittingbourne, Kent

Berkeley ADS - Berkeley, Gloucestershire

Bondgate Players - Darlington

Bournemouth Little Theatre Club - Dorset

Briton Ferry Little Theatre - South Wales

Bridgewater Players - Warrington

Chelsfield Players - Chelsfield Village, Kent

Dunchurch Festival Players - Rugby

Firth Park Methodists - Sheffield

Frampton Footlights - Dorset

Franklin Players - South Africa

Hayeswater ATS - Manchester
het nieuwe masker - Hoogeven, Netherlands (translation)
Just Good Friends - Barton on Humber
Langtoft Players - Lincolnshire
Lune Spring Players - Ravenstonedale, Cumbria
Mouse River Players - Minot, North Dakota, USA
Octopus Theatre - Thornbury, Bristol
Penistone Players - Penistone, Yorkshire
Potterspury Players - Milton Keynes
Rockingham Theatre Company - Brisbane, Australia
Theatre ShendandoahVirginia, USA
South Bank PlayersBarton on Humber
St James Players - New Malden
Trinity Drama Group - Clitheroe, Lancashire
Village Players - Wolfeboro, New Hampshire, USA
Warsash Players - Hampshire
Westoning Players - Bedfordshire
Westville Theatre Group - Durban, South Africa
Willerby Methodist Players - Willerby, East Yorkshire